A Real Diva Dilemma

I am unhappy.............

In the upcoming weeks, I will have to make a decision that will undoubtedly impact not only my life, but my daughter's life as well.

As some of you may know, I am in the middle of trying to venture off into my second career as a physician/physician assistant, or whoever accepts me into their program first. I am currently working in my field of marketing as a project coordinator for a transportation company.

I hate every day of it.

Since I started almost a year ago, I have been trying to make myself like it. The truth of the matter is, not only do I hate what I do, but I strongly dislike my coworkers. The incident that I'm about to describe yesterday is the reason for my current state of emotions. Before I go into great detail, I will give you some background into this situation so that you will know why I'm so vexed to the nth degree. I've been taking my pre reqs for med school for amost two years now. I started back in the fall of 2003 after I was laid off from my previous employer. I vowed when I started, that I would continue until I completed every class that I needed before taking the MCAT's. In the meanwhile, since I needed money to keep the roof over my head and make my car payments, I worked as a security officer for a while until I could find something better. The bright side of working as a fake cop, was that it was easy for me to go to class during the day because I worked from 4pm - 12am, however I hated getting off at 12 in the morning and going days without seeing my daughter. So, I found the current job I'm in now quite by accident. I hadn't planned on actually trying to find a job in my field it just kind of happened. Well, it was a temp to perm position and it was close to my house and 15 minutes to the college I'm enrolled at. The salary was okay, but it was definitely more than I had been making.

Here's where the drama begins........

At my initial interview, I did not disclose to my potential manager that I was taking classes. Why? Because if I did, then I would've been out of the running for a job. To a certain degree, I do feel that it was slightly dishonest, but I have learned from past experience, some things are better left unsaid. Besides I needed more money and I had a little ways to go before I can apply to med school. I figured I would tell her once I got my foot in the door and plus there was the slight possibility that I might end up liking the job and would probably want to stay on a little longer than I had planned to.

Anyway, I found out that my manager allows my co-worker who is taking a couple of classes to become a licensed counselor to come to work two hours early at 7am and leave at 4pm so that she can attend her classes. I thought to myself that surely she wouldn't mind if I came in fifteen minutes early and left fifteen minutes early so that I can make it to class on time. So, a few weeks before I was scheduled to go permanent, I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I rearranged my schedule a little so that I could take some classes. She let out a sigh and said well what are going for?
I couldn't lie to her so I told her thinking that she would understand and she goes, "I was really hoping that you would want to stay and learn more about the business and yada, yada." I stopped listening when she basically told me no. Then she goes on to say well, you may want to think about what you'd like to do. This job may not be right for you. Now, this is where things get pissy, my manager knows that my co-worker is trying to get her license to become a counselor and knew this when she made her permanent (our company only hires through staffing agencies). So, I'm a little more than pissed because I'm being forced basically to decide if I'm going to stay at this sorry ass job or pursue a career that will bring me personal satisfaction. Anyway, I told her that I wanted the job, but I didn't mention anything else about attending classes. She mentioned the subject saying that "we're supposed to be here until 6pm because that's what time our counterparts on the west coast expect us to be here (nobody from the west coast calls us past noon) and plus I would be the only one here at six and that's hard on me (if she's here until six that's her problem, we each have our own individual projects. She wouldn't be working on my project and I wouldn't be working on hers). She then talked about how she wants to be fair, but she still won't let me rearrange my schedule.

Unless I missed something, how in the hell is she being fair, especially on my behalf?

Anyway, I chalked it up. I went to class, getting there fifteen minutes late, missing quizzes that eventually brought my grade down to a fucking "C". A "C"? Would you let a doctor who got a "C" in human anatomy touch you? I didn't think so either.

Okay, new semester, I've been at the God forsaking job for a while now, I thought I'd try again. I asked her yesterday to be exact. I offered to forego the last fifteen minutes of my lunch break so that I could leave early. My response was "We'll see".

I was almost in tears. I started to clean off my desk and walk out and never come back.

What would you do? I'm giving myself until May to get myself together.


Sorry for the long post.......y'all know I don't have nothing to do at work.