I'm So Evolved and Stuff

I just want to take a minute and offer my heartfelt condolences to all of the people whose lives have been impacted by the tsunamis.

Okay, it's a new year, but the same 'ol shit.

I started off the new year by calling that dude who gave me his phone number. Well, the conversation went a little something like this:

Me: "Hey, how are you doing? This is Diva from Blim...umm *new company's name here* (that's sad, I haven't worked at Blim#$% in almost two years, but I'm still claiming they sect *throwing up sub sandwich sign*. I was just calling to wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year"

Him: "Oh, okay"

Me: "Are you busy?"

Him: "I'm talking to my cousin"

Me: "Oh, well I'll call you back later."

Him: "Okay"

WTF!? The Diva who's normally cool, calm, and collected, just got punked out by some nigga? I can't believe this! I'm 27 damn years old and I'm still having problems talking to niggas on the phone? I admit, I am painfully shy when it comes to the opposite sex, but damn that was really bad. I can't believe I went out like that! Being that it took me almost two weeks to even call his ass, I was really pissed after going through hell to find his number...again, to have him blow me off to talk to his damn cousin. That shit is unfuckinbelievable! I'm already mad that I can't form sentences around a dude that I like because my mouth becomes instant mush. But to have all those weeks of hard work (giving myself pep talks and stuff) go down the tubes for a 30 second conversation, if even that long, I'm kind of vexed. He doesn't have to worry about me calling his bitch ass again, because it ain't happening!

I called my guy friend, Dill, (you know the one that I'm secretly in love with, but he doesn't love me back) and told him what happened. He told me that I was overreacting, especially about him wanting to talk to his cousin rather than to me. I explained to him that I'm never calling his ass back. I'm truly going to lose his number now. Dill seems to think that maybe I'm not as interested in the guy as I say that I am. I beg to differ. He's the first guy that has actually made me stop thinking about his ass. I'm not saying that I like him or am just willing to settle for him because I can't have Dill, but he's a great guy that I used to think was really cute and intellectual. Hmmmm, basically the same characteristics as Dill. Stop the booing and hissing because I don't want to transpose Dill head onto, umm, I've got to give him a name *rubs chin* Okay, I don't want to transpose Dill's head onto Black Caesar's body, I just BC to talk to me instead of his damn cousin. You'll talk to that nigga all the time, I'm a one fleeting moment opportunity heffa and you better recognize that and take advantage while you can.......

All in all, Black Caesar came to my desk yesterday morning and asked me how my new year's went. Maybe he totally forgot about our quasi phone coversation the other day. If that was the case, then believe me, all is forgiven. However, I mean what I say, I'm never calling his black, fine, ass ever again.

I mean it.

Okay, well maybe I'll consider.......................