I Missed The Bus

Y'all remember that song don't you? Kris Kross? Damn, if you don't remember them boys and that song, then you are officially lame ass hell shawty!

Anyway, for the past couple of nights I have been having extremely vivid dreams. I mean dreams that are in such detail that I can actually remember them when I wake up. Last night was no exception. However, the dream I had last night is a dream that I've been having since 1996. Yup, I know that's a long ass time to be dreaming about the same thing, but hey if that dream hasn't come true yet, then you still have to dream about it until it happens right?

I hope so.....

Anyway, the dream goes a little like this, I'm standing at the bus stop just talking to some people, telling some funny ass jokes and this guy that I was like totally in love with is at the bus stop too. We converse (not conversate like so many ghetto educated people like to say) for a while, you know catching up on each other's life until his bus arrives. Suddenly, he leaves before I get a chance to get his number so I can give him a call. I'm desperately searching for him and I can't find him. Then out of nowhere, I see him and he gives me the biggest kiss that I believe that I've ever had in my life. Then it's over...

Man, I'm still in love with that dude.

I met "him" when I was a junior in high school and working at Chick Fil-A in the mall. He was such a sweet and handsome guy that I thought he was way out of my league. I was always setting him up with my friends and stuff like that instead of just telling him that I liked him. Finally, I decided that shit, I deserve a great guy like him. I'm still a virgin, I make good grades in school, and I can dress pretty darn good, so I deserve to make myself available to this guy. So, I did and with disastrous results. First of all, I now know what people mean by not being ready for a relationship. I was and still am to a certain extent, not ready for a relationship. During our whirlwind courtship, I was childish and immature and eventually broke it off with him because of some bullshit that some ol' chickenhead was telling me. Anyway, I had a chance to redeem myself and try to make it up to him the following year and what did I do? I fucked it up again. Urrrgggghhhhh! I hate myself for what happened. I just wish that I had grown up some within that year that we didn't talk.

Fast forward to 2002. My friend calls me on the morning I'm going into labor with my Peanut to tell me that "he" was at her house installing an alarm system and that he was modeling now. She was like "yeah, girl he still looks the same." I, on the other hand, looked like a pregnant stick figure on a crack diet.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! My chance for redemption; gone again.

Well, it's almost time for his ten year class reunion and I'm seriously thinking about going so that I can "run" into him. Only one problem though, he graduated a year before I did and he went to a different high school. Do you think I can get away with it?

Well, looks like I'll be dreaming about him until the day I die. The love I let get away.

Maybe that's why I can't get that damn Kriss Kross song out of my head, because I missed the bus.