We're Not The Champions

I've been thinking about the different jobs I've held over the years and realized that every job I've ever held, has been with a loser company. When I say "loser company" I mean a company that has consistently ranked in thetop twenty, but never number one or even anywhere close to it. When I worked at Earthlink as a Consumer Sales Consultant, we were way behind AOL and MSN. Let's face it, we sucked like Monica Lewinsky. It wasn't that AOL or MSN was better in terms of price, it was just that Earthlink used really fucked up equipment and overcharged their customer's for it. I felt bad telling these people they were going to be getting quality internet service when in fact they would be lucky if the damn server didn't die as soon as I told them that. Not to mention the several times when customers asked to speak to a supervisor and I told them that I was one, not because I was trying to be a smart ass, but because we were encouraged by the supervisors to own the call or as I like to call it; "leave them the hell alone because they didn't feel like doing their job".

Then there was my job as a Marketing Assistant/Bitch Do Anything at the corporate office of a fast food restaraunt that serves subs, we'll call them Wimpie (for the sake of all the Googlers out there). Hell, if people knew what I knew, you'd probably never want to eat another Wimpie sub again, especially their BLT with inferior cuts of bacon and Light Tuna sub made with a mayonnaise-like substance. Anyway nobody who worked there even eats Wimpie, they all eat Subway, Quiznos, and Schlotsky's. As a matter of fact, there was a Schlotsky's Deli down the street from the office that I used to frequent. Being the nigga that I am, I would have the balls to bring the shit upstairs to my desk and eat it in front of my boss. To make matters worse, when Wimpie got all entagled in litigation from switching from Coke to Pepsi products , I would bring Coke cans and bottles up to my desk and drink it right in front of my boss's face. I didn't give a damn that they didn't like Coke anymore, I still did. I was born and raised in Atlanta, I'm not drinking no damn Pepsi. I don't like to assume, but I think it might have been my cavalier attitude towards Wimpie's upper management that ultimately led to my dismissal. By that time I didn't give a damn. Ask anybody who saw me being escorted out of the building by personnel, I had a "I don't give a fuck" look on my face. But let the facts be known, I wasn't fired, I was laid off and received a shitty lump sum of severance pay and unemployment benefits.

Now there's my current job as a Project Coordinator at we'll call it "Japanese Freight Forwarders Who Don't Advertise Their Services and Gets Mad Because Nobody Wants Use Them To Ship Their Stuff Company". Even if I did provide the actual name of the company, you probably still wouldn't have hear of them. Why? Because Japanese companies don't like to really market their shit. Our largest competitor is anybody who puts up a damn billboard or hell even passes out flyers that say "We'll Ship Yo Shit Around The World". They don't have a formal marketing department. It's just me and my immediate supervisor and the other project coordinator that make up the marketing department. Get this shit, we don't even do any marketing. We do proposals and pray that somebody looks at that shit and says "hey, let's give them some business." More often than not, we don't get the business, but it looks good to the big wigs to see that we did use that account we have with FedEx to send our shit off to potential customers. That actually got me to thinking, how do FedEx ship off their packages? Anyway, I digress. The point of the matter is, UPS, DHL, and FedEx are whooping our asses because we're too cheap to spend a little money on some advertising and too inexperienced to develop a sound marketing plan that will catapult this company into the same league as those shipping companies I just listed. It doesn't really matter to me anyway because I am 16 credits away from applying to Nursing school (I'm delaying medical school for a couple of years, but I'm still going to finish up my pre requisite med school courses next year) and I'll be leaving.

Damn, I at least hope when I get my first nursing job that it will be at a good hospital, you know a hospital that doesn't kill more patients than it actually treats.

Until the next time..........