After The Love Is Gone.....

I never thought that in a million I'd be saying this but I believe I have fallen out of love with SDR.

I happened over a series of things, the most recent being his MIA status for about a week and then resurfacing. I had purged his being out of my soul and had vowed that this time it was really over. Of course I go through this binge and purge stage about every three weeks or so, but in the back of my mind I'm telling myself that hey as soon as he instant messages me, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

It never happens.

That was until I met someone new.........

Let me preface this by saying, I have had crushes, infactuations, and every other sort of secret admiration of guys for the past five years that I have been stapled down to SDR. However, the latest guy, I don't know quite how he got under the radar and penetrated the "Do Not Try to Pick up Diva 'Cause She's Waiting on SDR to Do Right" zone, but he did.

Does it matter that he's also five years my junior? No? I didn't think so either. Well, for the purposes of the blog "he" shall be referred to as Young Buck.

I don't know what it is about him that makes me want him. Well, yeah I do. He's tall and he wears glasses (I'm sucker for guys that wear glasses) and he's really laid back. I love listening to him talk. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me, the way he kisses me.

Yes, I've kissed him and my lips have never been happier.

He adores Peanut and according to my background check he doesn't have any priors, hasn't jumped bail, and isn't a molester. The problem is...

I don't know what to make of what it is to become of this. I don't know if I feel this way because I never knew that I could want someone else other than SDR or what. I know that in five years I haven't been with anyone else other than SDR and being with Young Buck is quite an experience. Albeit, an interesting one, but a good experience nonetheless.

I am technically still with SDR because I haven't given him his walking papers and I feel like the worst person on earth for being an adultress, but after spending Saturday night with him, it just didn't feel the same. The connection wasn't there, I kept looking out of my window to see if Young Buck left something at his friend's house and had to come back and get it. I ached for him. I would've given my left and right kidney just to see his smile. Oh, he has a gorgeous smile!

I don't know what to do..........