Tanequa, Come Git Yo Honeycombs!

I was watching my Saturday morning NBC children's programming with my daughter (okay, it was for me becaise she's only one and doesn't know what she's watching. I'm big fan of Trading Spaces: Girls vs Boys) and this Honeycomb commercial comes on. Now, I have a problem with a lot of the commercial's that I see during this time. The commercial's aren't anywhere close to giving an accurate portrayal of Black life. This commercial in particular struck a nerve with me because it was just way off base. Allow me to expound on the problem with this commercial:

Mom: Sarah, it's time for breakfast.

Sarah is upstairs in her room engrossed in playing a game on a Game Boy like device.

Mom calls again Sarah, come and get your Honeycombs

Sarah is still playing her game

Mom waits patiently downstairs

Sarah is suddenly sucked into her video game and is navigating the game course with an ugly Honeycomb thing.

Mom is concerned that Sarah hasn't come downstairs for her cereal and heads upstairs. She comes to Sarah's room and looks around, but Sarah isn't there. Mom then picks up the Game Boy device and sees Sarah in there.

Sarah says to her mom: Got milk?

Then the commercial goes on to make a shameless plug for the nasty, oops I mean delicious cereal.

Pretty stupid huh? Let's get one thing straight, Black people don't give their children simple names like Sarah, Jane or Mary. They give them hard to pronounce names that have unnecessary prefixes like LaPantanisha, JaQuanita, and Mjayah. Secondly, Black mamas (not mom, mommy, or mother) don't call you but once for breakfast, after that you're on your own, especially if you have brothers or sisters. Thirdly, I don't know too many Black folks that actually eat Honeycombs. I think it has something to do with the irreparable damage it can do to your teeth. Hard ass cereal. Now, I've remade this commercial, to reflect a more common Black household:

Mama: Tanequa, come down hurr and git yo' bowl of surreal (that's pronounced sur-re_ul)

Tanequa is upstairs doing a quick weave: Aight, I be dere inna minute

Mama is spanking one of her seven children's hand for putting ketchup in his bowl of cereal.

Mama: I ain't gone tell you no mo'. Git yo' ass down hurr and git dis surreal.

Tanequa has one more track to glue in. Finished, she heads downstairs to get her cereal.
When Tanequa gets downstairs, it's too late. LaDondre Jr. has eaten up her bowl of cereal.

Tanequa: Man LJ ate up my surreal. Now what is I'm 'sposed to eat?

Mama: 'Dis shit right chea. Sliding a box of Honeycombs to her. We don't eat dat, but you can.

Now in my opinion, that's a more accurate portrayal of Black life. Stay tuned for more Blackalized commercials. Until the next time...........