If You Only Knew......

I'm tired of being chunky, so I've decided to go on a Black and Mild diet. It's a diet consisting of nightly Black and Mild smoking. There's nothing like a Black and Mild to kill the appetite and funk up your breath so that food won't even go in your mouth! I'm hoping to lose at least 20 pounds on this diet. In the event that a single pound doesn't come off, then I will use the tongue piercing diet. I've heard that it's guaranteed to make an individual drop those unwanted pounds....Stay tuned for the results.....

Last night, I had the strangest dream. Now, I usually have some no-nonsense dreams, but this one was strange because I actually remember eerie details about it. I dreamed that I met this dude named Donnie. He was from London and was the most sensitive, caring, and sexiest dude I will probably ever meet (sad, he was truly a dream guy!). Anyway, we met in a bar or either a recording studio and just hit it off immediately. We talked for a spell then we started cuddling then kissing. It went on for hours, then he suddenly had to leave. I remember him asking me to come to London to be with him. I don't think I got a chance to answer him because the DAMN PHONE RANG!!!!!!!!! Negros know how to fornicate under the consent of the king up a dream! Well, I was telling my cousin my theory behind the dream-I'm listening to my Floetry cd too damn much. I can't help it, those damn Brit Chicks are the bomb! If you don't have their cd, you need to cop that-"imejitely" (in the words of the immortal Bernie Mack in the Player's Club).

In other news, XTC was looking so damn good at work tonight, I almost melted in my chair just looking at him! He was showing off his sexy guns with those tattoos just glistening in the light. Ohmigod, I'm gonna freak! (white girl estrogen melt down simulation) I just need five minutes of his time, I'll show him what a girl who hasn't had any in .....well, let's just say a very long time, would do to him. Oh, Lawd, I can't take this! If I can't have him, then I at least want him to design a vibrator with his face on it or something.....anything. Am I obsessed with this beautiful, black creature? Hell yeah! Don't let me find out where he plays with his band, I'm gonna toss my newly purchased Victoria Secretions draws on stage......Know this!

Until the next time...........