Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

I don't even know where to start....

I guess if I had've taken out some bets on this latest attempt to reconcile with sperm donor, I would have made some money on it's inevitable dissolution.

Well, he doesn't know that we're through, but somehow I feel he'll get the picture if he even decides to fucking call.

For the past month, I've been listening to promises of visits and getting none. He didn't even have the decency to call me and tell me that he just didn't feel like getting out of the driveway to drive to come see me. I've been trying to accomodate his ass and he just basically says "you know what, she'll still forgive me, because I already gave her the disclaimer that if I do something stupid, that I didn't mean it." Well, muthafucka that only holds true if you do something stupid once and you realize it and you take steps to correct the foolish behavior. That disclaimer doesn't hold water if you repeatedly continue to do the same shit over and over again.

I've tried to reason his behavior, but there is no excuse. The last time this happened, he said he had to go to VA to see his sick grandma, the time before that, he just didn't damn show up, the time before that, he just didn't show up. Do you follow where this is going? He just doesn't give a damn. I'm not going through this again, so I'm nipping this in the bud right now. I don't deserve to be treated this way, and I'm not going to allow him to think that this type of behavior needs to be brushed under the rug. IT IS UNACCEPTABLE! The only connection we have is through Peanut from now on and that's it and right now, even that relationship is pissing me off.

Now, the only problem I have is trying not to let this bastard ruin my good natured spirit for the right man to come into my life and be the man and father to my child that I so desire to have.

Okay, cuz, I'm ready for the I-told-you-so's...........