A Real Diva Dilemma

I am unhappy.............

In the upcoming weeks, I will have to make a decision that will undoubtedly impact not only my life, but my daughter's life as well.

As some of you may know, I am in the middle of trying to venture off into my second career as a physician/physician assistant, or whoever accepts me into their program first. I am currently working in my field of marketing as a project coordinator for a transportation company.

I hate every day of it.

Since I started almost a year ago, I have been trying to make myself like it. The truth of the matter is, not only do I hate what I do, but I strongly dislike my coworkers. The incident that I'm about to describe yesterday is the reason for my current state of emotions. Before I go into great detail, I will give you some background into this situation so that you will know why I'm so vexed to the nth degree. I've been taking my pre reqs for med school for amost two years now. I started back in the fall of 2003 after I was laid off from my previous employer. I vowed when I started, that I would continue until I completed every class that I needed before taking the MCAT's. In the meanwhile, since I needed money to keep the roof over my head and make my car payments, I worked as a security officer for a while until I could find something better. The bright side of working as a fake cop, was that it was easy for me to go to class during the day because I worked from 4pm - 12am, however I hated getting off at 12 in the morning and going days without seeing my daughter. So, I found the current job I'm in now quite by accident. I hadn't planned on actually trying to find a job in my field it just kind of happened. Well, it was a temp to perm position and it was close to my house and 15 minutes to the college I'm enrolled at. The salary was okay, but it was definitely more than I had been making.

Here's where the drama begins........

At my initial interview, I did not disclose to my potential manager that I was taking classes. Why? Because if I did, then I would've been out of the running for a job. To a certain degree, I do feel that it was slightly dishonest, but I have learned from past experience, some things are better left unsaid. Besides I needed more money and I had a little ways to go before I can apply to med school. I figured I would tell her once I got my foot in the door and plus there was the slight possibility that I might end up liking the job and would probably want to stay on a little longer than I had planned to.

Anyway, I found out that my manager allows my co-worker who is taking a couple of classes to become a licensed counselor to come to work two hours early at 7am and leave at 4pm so that she can attend her classes. I thought to myself that surely she wouldn't mind if I came in fifteen minutes early and left fifteen minutes early so that I can make it to class on time. So, a few weeks before I was scheduled to go permanent, I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I rearranged my schedule a little so that I could take some classes. She let out a sigh and said well what are going for?
I couldn't lie to her so I told her thinking that she would understand and she goes, "I was really hoping that you would want to stay and learn more about the business and yada, yada." I stopped listening when she basically told me no. Then she goes on to say well, you may want to think about what you'd like to do. This job may not be right for you. Now, this is where things get pissy, my manager knows that my co-worker is trying to get her license to become a counselor and knew this when she made her permanent (our company only hires through staffing agencies). So, I'm a little more than pissed because I'm being forced basically to decide if I'm going to stay at this sorry ass job or pursue a career that will bring me personal satisfaction. Anyway, I told her that I wanted the job, but I didn't mention anything else about attending classes. She mentioned the subject saying that "we're supposed to be here until 6pm because that's what time our counterparts on the west coast expect us to be here (nobody from the west coast calls us past noon) and plus I would be the only one here at six and that's hard on me (if she's here until six that's her problem, we each have our own individual projects. She wouldn't be working on my project and I wouldn't be working on hers). She then talked about how she wants to be fair, but she still won't let me rearrange my schedule.

Unless I missed something, how in the hell is she being fair, especially on my behalf?

Anyway, I chalked it up. I went to class, getting there fifteen minutes late, missing quizzes that eventually brought my grade down to a fucking "C". A "C"? Would you let a doctor who got a "C" in human anatomy touch you? I didn't think so either.

Okay, new semester, I've been at the God forsaking job for a while now, I thought I'd try again. I asked her yesterday to be exact. I offered to forego the last fifteen minutes of my lunch break so that I could leave early. My response was "We'll see".

I was almost in tears. I started to clean off my desk and walk out and never come back.

What would you do? I'm giving myself until May to get myself together.


Sorry for the long post.......y'all know I don't have nothing to do at work.

So What?

The Falcons lost, so what?

Boo Hoo!

They still look better than the Eagles. Plus we all know that Philadelphia is not that great of a team. I mean at least the Falcons made it to the Super Bowl.

Philadelphia?? *crickets*

I'm rooting for the Patriots and they're going to send 'ol Donovan McNabb crying home to his mama. Then she can give him some Campbell's Chunky Soup to make him feel better.

And while I'm at it, somebody needs to tell T.O. to sit his ass down and let his broken body parts heal.

THE ORIGINAL SHIT TALKER HAS SPOKEN!!!!!!!!!!!

And The Oscar Goes To...........

This year the Oscars are going to suffer a blackout...

Jamie Foxx is up for Best Actor for "Ray" and Best Supporting Actor for "Collateral".
Don Cheadle is up for Best Actor for "Hotel Rwanda"
Morgan Freeman is up for Best Supporting Actor for "Million Dollar Baby"

May the best Black man win!

How Bout Dem Falcons?

What y'all know bout dem ATL Falcons?

They are so going to put a serious whippin' on the Philadelphia Eagles today and I can't wait. Terrell Owens been talking much shit, talking 'bout he's going to play today. Anyway, I'd like to see him out on the field trying to catch ol sexy Mike Vick with a broke leg or whatever it is that's broke on his body. Some folks can't accept defeat gracefully.

To all my Philadelphia fans, don't take it personal when the Dirty Birds come to your city and blow y'all out, they're just doing their job. We're going to beat y'all so bad that the mayor of Philadelphia is going to have to ask for federal assistance because the city will be in a state of emergency. We gone burn the city down, eat up all the philly cheesesteaks, and steal the Liberty Bell and put it in the middle of Underground Atlanta for our own enjoyment.

*Insert evil laugh here*

Philadelphia will smell what the Vick is cooking!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kill Bill Vol. 18

This report just came in to the Diva Chronicles.......

Bill Cosby has been accused of dipping his spoon in someone else's Jello pudding!

Isn't he a little too old to do some stuff like that?

According to reports, an employee from Bill Cosby's alma mater, Temple University, has accused the beloved tv dad of "inappropriate sexual conduct" stemming from an an incident that happened a year ago. Reportedly, the victim accompanied Mr. Cosby back to his hotel room where the incident occurred. The victim claims that Mr. Cosby gave her a pill for a backache that she was complaining about, that knocked her unconcious for a few hours. When she came to, she claimed that her clothing was dishelveled and her bra was unfastened. The victim claims that she doesn't remember the exact details of what happened.

*insert smirk here*

Now before I begin my endless tirade on this poor, shameless broad, I must give my disclaimer:

All of the viewpoints expressed are exclusively those of the Diva. If any one feels that I am wrong for saying anything bad about this broad then I will proceed to talk about yo' mama. Yeah, yo' mama nigga! This is my blog and I write about whoever the hell I want to mutha..........

*ahem*

I'm sorry. I get carried away sometimes...

Okay, now I'm no fan of Bill Cosby, however I feel that this is just damn ridiculous. She's filing a complaint a year later because some old dude groped her? What happened to this broad within the last year to make her come forward? Did her selective memory return? Please help me to understand. What kind of inappropriate touching? Did he make her touch his Fat Albert? I mean, what? As far as her clothes being dishelved? Were her shoes on the wrong foot? Did she have a run in her stockings that wasn't there when she went to his hotel room? Were her pannies on inside out? I mean, what? She's gonna have make folks understand.

It's people like this broad that makes it hard for women who have been victims of sexual assault to get a case. If Bill Cosby really and truly did this then he should be ashamed, but I don't feel that he did it (I know, I know, I would really like to pin something on him, but this isn't it). I wanna see some hand samples or something. Y'all prosecutors up in Philly are going to have to make me believe this one!

If they actually get an indictment for this bull, then I'm going to go to Philly and protest. As far as the broad goes, I didn't really get all up in her mix because it's Friday and I just got paid............

Some Nothings For The Day

I want to have a nice 'lil love affair with an aspiring rap star, whose stage name is 40 OZ.

He will have cornrows and lots and lots white gold, in his mouth and around his neck (acutally it's supposed to be platinum, but Jacob the Jeweler didn't get his piece ready in time). He will walk with a limp because he was shot twelve times while waiting in the drive thru at Burger King and stabbed three times while leaving the grocery store. He will have a tattoo on his arm that says "I'mma Ryder Truck" because the tattoo artist was drunk and thought that he was talking about Ryder moving trucks and instead of being a "Ridah", so to speak. Will drive a tight 'lil whip, actually, it's his mama's Dodge Neon, but he's waiting to pick up the Escalade after his first single "Iown Giva Phuck", featuring EBT and TANF goes straight aluminum foil. He's served time for failing to pay Child Support and a couple of unpaid parking tickets, so he's familiar with being "locked up".


Ahhhh, see what happens when you have too much time on your hands at work?

Comin' To The Stage, The New Hit Play............

Mama Done Gone And Spent The Rent Money On Some New Twenty's For The Hyundai and Weed!

I was on my way to work this morning and heard the latest installment in infamously ghetto ass stage plays; Baby Mama Drama.

Why in the hell would someone want to make a play out of some shit like that? If anything we should be ashamed that there are so many "baby mama's" and so few families. What in the hell is going on with the black playwrights? Lorraine Hansberry wouldn't be writing no shit called "A Raisin Hell 'Cause The Rent's Due And Grandpa Done Spent The Money On Moonshine" or August Wilson writing "Fences: 'Da Best Way To Jump Over One When Running From Da Po'Po'" Why I ask? Why?

What happened to Black folks writing about something that was uplifting, entertaining, and not a damn embarrassment to our race? It's bad enough we don't have enough Blacks on stage as it is, so we should be trying to get some street credibility, to get these good 'ol boys on broadway to stand up and take notice. Now I don't mean that Blacks should start writing plays that will appeal to the whitewashed folks(you know plays that involves coonin' and stuff), just something that we can truly be proud of. Everytime I hear the radio personality announce yet another gospel stage play, my damn head starts hurting because it's going to be something that makes absolutely no sense - whatsoever.

Now for those who may say: "You probably haven't even seen one of those plays. So, why are you passing judgement?" Well, you're right. I have not have the funds nor the inclination to even want to waste funds to see some of the idiotic bullshit that comes across the stage at the Atlanta Civic Center (that's where they always perform, it must be a rule that all ghetto stage plays have to perform there or something). Hmmph! I need to write a stage play that bashes ghetto stage plays.

Man am I sleepy! Oh, I'm sorry I ran ashore from my sea of logical thinking. Shit has been hard for me lately. Job dissatisfaction is at an all time high and my feet have been incredibly swollen. Damn, being chunky. My poor feet can't continue to hold all of this excess fat.

Somebody give me some energy so I can exercise.

A Few Good Bras

Man, I need some bras :(

It's funny that I will buy the cutest little outfits, but will totally disregard the fact that I don't have a decent bra in my drawer. It's rather quite sad y'all. I need some support - literally. Could somebody run down to Victoria Secrets and pick me up three second skin satin seamless bras? I don't care what color they are, juat as long as they're black, nude, and chocolate. I'm a size 40D. Thank you!

*Muah* I luv ya!

Moving on to more pressing items.

I need a hobby. I need something to do to take my mind off of Dill. My friend and I took him to Dave and Buster's on Friday for his birthday. I tell you, even though we're all supposed to be friends, I could've swore that I felt like the third training wheel in the damn car. I sat in the backseat, so Dill and my friend were in the front seat just chatting it up and stuff. Now, Dill and my friend see and talk to each other more than they do to me, even though it was me who introduced them to each other. Anyway, so I spent a majority of the time in the backseat sounding like a damn owl, saying "who?" "what?" It was terribly sad. I felt like the nerdy ass girl that nobody wanted to let sit with them at the lunch table. Then to top it off, this heffa gave Dill a birthday present, but didn't give me shit for mine. Ain't that a bitch? We're supposed to be best friends and shit. I mean she loves throwing that shit in my face, but you got somebody that you've know considerably less longer a birthday gift? Should I be mad? What do you think?

So while y'all ponder that question, I'm trying really hard to accept the fact that Dill and I will never be more than friends. I just don't honestly think that I can anymore. I called him on Sunday to wish him happy birthday and he told me about some girl that he met Saturday night and how he might be "off the market" because he's really feeling her. I told him that I was happy for him, but deep down inside, I don't give a damn. I don't want to hear about some other broad. I'd rather be shoving your hands down my pants. I've just decided that maybe I shouldn't be friends with him anymore. My feelings can't change. I've tried to see him as just a friend, but I can't anymore, I don't think it's possible. I will always get insanely jealous when he talks about some other girl or dates some other girl and I don't think it's fair to him to want to be friends with someone who wants to beat the hell out of every broad that comes into his life.

There. I'm going wean myself of Dill.

I'm not going to call him anymore or send him any emails. It's over. Finito.

I miss him already.

I'm So Evolved and Stuff

I just want to take a minute and offer my heartfelt condolences to all of the people whose lives have been impacted by the tsunamis.

Okay, it's a new year, but the same 'ol shit.

I started off the new year by calling that dude who gave me his phone number. Well, the conversation went a little something like this:

Me: "Hey, how are you doing? This is Diva from Blim...umm *new company's name here* (that's sad, I haven't worked at Blim#$% in almost two years, but I'm still claiming they sect *throwing up sub sandwich sign*. I was just calling to wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year"

Him: "Oh, okay"

Me: "Are you busy?"

Him: "I'm talking to my cousin"

Me: "Oh, well I'll call you back later."

Him: "Okay"

WTF!? The Diva who's normally cool, calm, and collected, just got punked out by some nigga? I can't believe this! I'm 27 damn years old and I'm still having problems talking to niggas on the phone? I admit, I am painfully shy when it comes to the opposite sex, but damn that was really bad. I can't believe I went out like that! Being that it took me almost two weeks to even call his ass, I was really pissed after going through hell to find his number...again, to have him blow me off to talk to his damn cousin. That shit is unfuckinbelievable! I'm already mad that I can't form sentences around a dude that I like because my mouth becomes instant mush. But to have all those weeks of hard work (giving myself pep talks and stuff) go down the tubes for a 30 second conversation, if even that long, I'm kind of vexed. He doesn't have to worry about me calling his bitch ass again, because it ain't happening!

I called my guy friend, Dill, (you know the one that I'm secretly in love with, but he doesn't love me back) and told him what happened. He told me that I was overreacting, especially about him wanting to talk to his cousin rather than to me. I explained to him that I'm never calling his ass back. I'm truly going to lose his number now. Dill seems to think that maybe I'm not as interested in the guy as I say that I am. I beg to differ. He's the first guy that has actually made me stop thinking about his ass. I'm not saying that I like him or am just willing to settle for him because I can't have Dill, but he's a great guy that I used to think was really cute and intellectual. Hmmmm, basically the same characteristics as Dill. Stop the booing and hissing because I don't want to transpose Dill head onto, umm, I've got to give him a name *rubs chin* Okay, I don't want to transpose Dill's head onto Black Caesar's body, I just BC to talk to me instead of his damn cousin. You'll talk to that nigga all the time, I'm a one fleeting moment opportunity heffa and you better recognize that and take advantage while you can.......

All in all, Black Caesar came to my desk yesterday morning and asked me how my new year's went. Maybe he totally forgot about our quasi phone coversation the other day. If that was the case, then believe me, all is forgiven. However, I mean what I say, I'm never calling his black, fine, ass ever again.

I mean it.

Okay, well maybe I'll consider.......................