What's Love Got To Do With It?

I don't know what's been happening with me lately, but I feel an overwhelming desire to be with someone. I know I stated in a couple of posts back, that I didn't want a relationship with anyone and then I met, sexy man (AKA, XTC). He's so cute and recently we've been speaking to each other quite a bit, at work of course. Anyway, I started thinking about how it would be nice to just kick it with someone besides myself (I mean, I'm just that damn good). I still don't want a relationship per se. With me, it's just too complicated. When I first hook up with a person. I develop an almost violent obsession with them. I have to talk to them all the damn time and I have know that I'm the onliest one in their life and yadda, yadda. Then after, oh, I'll say, three weeks, I'm like "are you still here? Nigga, just leave!" The romantic/obsessive behavior has ceased. Sometimes, depending on how bad that person gets on my nerves, I'm probably wishing for some bodily harm to come to their ass. Is this normal? I didn't think so.

Well, back to XTC. He has a couple of chicks that he hooks up with on an occasional basis. That's cool and everything, but all I want to know is can I fit in those jeans? I'm telling y'all, when I say this brother has it going on, I mean all the way on. Damn, I wish I was his t-shirt or something! However, contrary to what I'm writing, my lust, I mean desire to be with him isn't strictly about his looks, he has some interesting things going on in his life. He's a drummer in a jazz band. Those people who know me, know that i'm a sucker for some music. Now, I'm an even bigger sucker for a man that makes music. Plus, I like his accent, it's from up north or something. Anyway, I'm not going to worry about trying to approach him. I'm going to wait for the right timing. If it's meant to be, then we'll be in each other's pants.
Until the next time.................

Something To Think About

Tonight I was going to write about some stupid stuff , but that suddenly changed after speaking with a close friend. You know how sometimes it's easy to dismiss someone who's done you wrong or hurt beyond repair (or so you believe)? Well, I've learned that it's not that simple. People who are hurting themselves due to whatever reason, usually hurt the ones they love, not intentionally but it's just a byproduct of their own pain. Instead of pushing that person away, shouldn't you embrace them? Too often we can't get past our pain to help that person that genuinely needs our help. I guess those who know my situation are like "well why can't you do that with your sperm donor?" Well, the answer is simple, I'm not ready to forgive him. My own pettiness and immaturity is to blame. However, I will be able to forgive him oneday, because he is the father of my child and for all of the animosity that have towards her father, I won't be able to grow as a person so that I can be the best parent for her. Anyway, the point of the matter is, I have a friend who's significant other is going through a trying time in his life. Rather than give up on him, she's standing by his side. Sometimes, the people you love, will hurt you more than your enemies. However, it is how you handle the pain that will determine the depths of the relationship. Well, I need to do some more thinking, I'll write more tomorrow. Until the next time..........

The Mystery Behind The Mystery

Well, in the mist of my random thoughts this week, I forgot to comment on how my first week of classes went. They actually went great. My chemistry lab was canceled (good, because I didn't have the manual yet). My chemistry lecture is very interesting because my instructor suffers from an adult version of ADHD. Funny indeed. Then my Introduction to Human Development and Growth instructor is just too damn happy, I mean she is a licensed clinical psychologist so it wouldn't be a good thing if she wasn't happy you know. Finally, there's my Trigonometry class which will probably cause me to pull what little hair I have left out. Anyway, I am excited about all of this and I hope that with all of this stuff that I'm going to do, that I can at least get into Morehouse's school of Medicine.
In other news, I've finally decided to loc my hair. It's been a move that I've been contemplating for awhile now and I finally to the first step this week. I'll let you know in the next couple of weeks if I get tired of trying to do this and just cut all of my hair off and perm it. (HA HA, fat chance of that happening).
My baby's getting mischievous, it's time to slow her roll.
XTC is just getting finer and finer as hell each day. I wish I could be his draws or something, I don't know.
The guy who shares the same name with my sperm donor is just an absolute sweetie. *Muah*
My ass is getting too big, time to pull out my Weight Watcher's point guide. I'm sure it said something about eating 3 Krystal chicks is about 1000 points or something.
I need some clothes. Really, really, really, really bad. Will accept any donations of gift certificates to the Gap or Old Navy.
That's all for now. Until, the next time..........

This Is Mr. Big..........

Okay, I know it's late and everything but, I was listening to Kelly Price's Friend of Mine (I think that's the name of the song) and listening to Ronald Isley (AKA Mr. Big, BKA Old Ass Man) and R. Kelly (AKA Toys R Us Playa) go back and forth on the song and it finally hit me.....I need to call Mr. Big so that he can get my sperm donor to pay me some child support. Bump the state, I can just get Mr. Big! I wonder if he has a 1-800 number or something. Anyway, being the dramatization queen that I am, I've decided to show y'all how the conversation would probably go.........

Sperm Donor: Hello

Music plays

Mr. Big: This is Mr. Big

Sperm Donor: Hey Mr. Big

Mr. Big: Reza's telling me that you ain't paid no child support

Sperm Donor: Just because I ain't speaking to her doesn't mean I ain't paying her

Mr. Big: Well, if you not speaking to her then how the hell you paying her?

Sperm Donor: Well, I could just be mailing her money.

Mr. Big: Or could not be paying nuthin'. Now son, man to man, we both know you lame

Sperm Donor: Huh?

Mr. Big: Wait a minute. Yo' ass is to sorry to even step up your game. She may be another broad to you, but to me she's a Diva. Music plays........Reza take this phone.....

That's it, I'm done.......Until the next time.........

Random Musings - Part One

1. Does it mean that I'm a word hoe because I love the dictionary?
2. Men are like shoes, you have to find the right fit.
3. I is a inteligant college graduwate frome Morris Brun.
4. Ohhh, right there, scratch my head you big strong beast!
5. Do I look like I make sense to you?
6. Funkadelic is the greatest funk band of all time.
7. I can't help it that you missed the greatest event of all time - my birth.
8. As the official figurehead of this organization, I am telling you that I have no real power.
9. I don't want you to like me, I just want you to kiss my ass.
10. No thank you, I can use my brain without the instructions.

Until the next time..................

This Isn't My Idea of Fun.........

Okay, y'all I've got nothing going in my life that is of real interest. I still hate my job, I start class tomorrow, and I finally got my mosquito net for my bed (YAY!) For those who are not "Trading Spaces" loyal watchers, it's a canopy netting that goes over your bed. It gives your bedroom a tropical and romantic feel to it. Just what I need, a room that's going to set the mood for me :).
Anyway, I'm finally through with my sperm donor, I officially hate his ass. I happened to stumble upon his "new" website that had pictures of his other two kids sans my little Peanut. Ain't that a bitch? You know I was always told if you're going show one, show them all. I think it's very misleading to all of his other hoes to know that he's not acknowledging one other child. I shouldn't be surprised being that he didn't even call to wish my baby happy birthday. That's okay though, he'll get his in the end, as we all know Karma is a bitch. Speaking of such, is it coincidence that this guy that I know at work has the same name as my sperm donor? I mean it's such rare and rather old-fashioned name, I just thought that nobody else would have it. However, in stark contrast to my sperm donor he happens to be an intellectual and a really sweet guy. When I told him that he had the same name as my sperm donor (whom I loathe) he said well, my name is Chris. Well, Chris is a sweetheart. He just needs to stop spoiling those heifers. He basically has a weakness for coochie. But all men do, right?
Well, I did find the answer to the number twenty on my list. I was told by a very reliable TANF recipient that it means Everybody Benefits from The shit. Enought said, until the next time...............

Move Over Fitty....I've Got Twenty Questions of My Own

1. Why does Shawn Carter call himself "Jay-Z"
2. Just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
3. Has Don King ever been able to get a comb through his hair?
4. Why is it that R. Kelly can make stupid songs like Ignition, Thoia Thong, Feeling on Your Booty, etc. sound so good? (Too bad a man that could have any grown woman he wants, has to purchase his wife's birthday gift from Toys R US)
5. Who told Ashanti that she could sing?
6. Furthermore, who told Fabulous he could rap?
7. Why can't women go to the bathroom alone?
8. Why do men think that girl on girl action is sexy, but man on man action is just plain gay? (Last time I checked, two sets of breases rubbing together is just plain nasty!)
9. This isn't a question, but an answer to Ginuwine's question-Hell no, you pretty muthasucka
10. Why can dogs have sex with as many bitches as he wants and not get an STD? (If someone has heard of a case of an animal STD, please let me know)
11. Why does UPN have so many Black shows?
12. Kobe, why did you do it?
13. Furthermore, why did you do it with a white broad?
14. What happened to Hi-Five? (You know the boys that sang the "Kissing Game")
15. What happened to Black pride?
16. Why is Bush president?
17. Where does cottage cheese come from?
18. Furthermore, why is it associated with yeast infections? (Hmm, do you see a connection here?)
19. Do fish drink water?
20. What in the hell does EBT stand for? (TANF recipients, please feel free to answer)

Gimme Back! It's Mmmmmiiiiiiiinnnnnnneee!

People, don't you hate when you let Black folks borrow you're stuff? They never give it back unless you ask them. For instance, my cd's. Those things are like my babies. I love them to death, I love music and each one of my cd's represent a different stage in my life. Right now, I'm in a mature stage because I can listen to music that doesn't refer to women as female dogs. Anyway, moving right along, I let a friend of mine borrow a few of them. She was going down my little cd tower and just picking out stuff. Then proceeds to tell me on her way home she's going to take them home. She asked of course, but she'd already made up in her mind that she was going to take them anyway. So, being the nice person that I am, I let her borrow them........That was two and a half months ago. Now, I don't feel that I should have to ask for MY stuff, simply because it's mine. However, I am going to ask her because she's is getting on my damn nerves borrowing my shit and never returning it. My cd's aren't the only things that she has she also has my air mattress (she had the nerve to call me and ask to borrow it, even though she hasn't given it back, ain't that a bitch?) and my money. Now, I don't mind lending people money, note the key word Lend, but damn when you feel it's apart of your biweekly budget. I mean you're doing your bills and when your paycheck comes up short, you say, I'll just ask Reza for the rest of the hundred dollars, I'll be alright. Now, I'm not trying to be mean, but I just hate when folks do me like this. I mean she did let me borrow some money last year when I was out on maternity leave, because my sorry sperm donor didn't have his ass conveniently around. I am eternally grateful for that. I have paid her back since, it wasn't all in one lump, but in several increments. Anyway, long story short, despite my friend's inability to give things back, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her for nothing in the world, I'll let the money go, but my cd's and air mattress, she's got to give that up.............Until the next time.........

Now It's Time For Another Episode Of The Young And The Assed Out............

Reza's work pants just won't fit........has something to do with one excessively large thigh. To even her thighs, she proceeds to eat a footlong Publix sub..............The dream guy that Reza keeps chasing, is slowly becoming disturbed by his overwhelming desire to speak to her each time he leaves and begins to stop leaving out of the main door and through a side door (she can still see him on the monitor at the security desk. Oh yeah!).........Reza's sister is a doormat to her slutty neighbor and stinky neighbor, they drop off their kids, but no money. Reza suggests leaving them outside in the elements until payments are received - in full.......Reza notices a foul odor and itching from an unmentionable part of her body.....could it be a yeast infection? We'll find out on the next episode of The Young and the Assed Out........Until the next time..........

I Am the American Idol

Make no mistake people, I am the epitome of what every body wants but can't have.....I'm just playing nobody with good sense would want to be like me, besides I like being me. I have my days when I just complain about the color of the sun and my flabby thighs, but truth be told, I like the person that I have evolved into. I am never satisfied with anything, because I strive to better and I think that has come from being a single mama. Without my little "Peanut" I wouldn't have the guts to pursue this so-call medical career of mine or put up with being a security officer. These are things that I wouldn't have done because I had become somewhat complacent with the situation that I was in. One of the things that I love most about me, is that I'm single. I thought that I could handle a relationship, but I realize that I have a lot of maturing to do and moreso, I'm pretty selfish about my space. I enjoy being single because I:

1. Can roll over and not smell another person's stank breath
2. Do not have to answer to anyone but God
3. Can talk on the phone late at night and not have to tell anyone who I'm talking to
4. Have sex with as many people as I want without getting pregnant, an STD, or hurt feelings (it's called masturbation)

Now that may not seem like the ideal life for some women, but it is for me. This isn't a life I've made myself have to accept, but life that I enjoy and cherish. If I get married, good and if I don't, then that's good too. I'd rather be married at 60 and have 20 years of wedded bliss than to get married at 26 and have 60 years of wedded hell. Right now, I don't want to wake up with someone else beside me. I have become content with my life after I realized that I only wanted someone because I was always taught that you're supposed to have someone. I believe that even if I didn't have my baby, I would be content. Anyway, speaking of having sex with people, I did have a freaky dream about ol' dude. Hmmm, I almost didn't want to wake up.....Enough said, until the next time..............

Tanequa, Come Git Yo Honeycombs!

I was watching my Saturday morning NBC children's programming with my daughter (okay, it was for me becaise she's only one and doesn't know what she's watching. I'm big fan of Trading Spaces: Girls vs Boys) and this Honeycomb commercial comes on. Now, I have a problem with a lot of the commercial's that I see during this time. The commercial's aren't anywhere close to giving an accurate portrayal of Black life. This commercial in particular struck a nerve with me because it was just way off base. Allow me to expound on the problem with this commercial:

Mom: Sarah, it's time for breakfast.

Sarah is upstairs in her room engrossed in playing a game on a Game Boy like device.

Mom calls again Sarah, come and get your Honeycombs

Sarah is still playing her game

Mom waits patiently downstairs

Sarah is suddenly sucked into her video game and is navigating the game course with an ugly Honeycomb thing.

Mom is concerned that Sarah hasn't come downstairs for her cereal and heads upstairs. She comes to Sarah's room and looks around, but Sarah isn't there. Mom then picks up the Game Boy device and sees Sarah in there.

Sarah says to her mom: Got milk?

Then the commercial goes on to make a shameless plug for the nasty, oops I mean delicious cereal.

Pretty stupid huh? Let's get one thing straight, Black people don't give their children simple names like Sarah, Jane or Mary. They give them hard to pronounce names that have unnecessary prefixes like LaPantanisha, JaQuanita, and Mjayah. Secondly, Black mamas (not mom, mommy, or mother) don't call you but once for breakfast, after that you're on your own, especially if you have brothers or sisters. Thirdly, I don't know too many Black folks that actually eat Honeycombs. I think it has something to do with the irreparable damage it can do to your teeth. Hard ass cereal. Now, I've remade this commercial, to reflect a more common Black household:

Mama: Tanequa, come down hurr and git yo' bowl of surreal (that's pronounced sur-re_ul)

Tanequa is upstairs doing a quick weave: Aight, I be dere inna minute

Mama is spanking one of her seven children's hand for putting ketchup in his bowl of cereal.

Mama: I ain't gone tell you no mo'. Git yo' ass down hurr and git dis surreal.

Tanequa has one more track to glue in. Finished, she heads downstairs to get her cereal.
When Tanequa gets downstairs, it's too late. LaDondre Jr. has eaten up her bowl of cereal.

Tanequa: Man LJ ate up my surreal. Now what is I'm 'sposed to eat?

Mama: 'Dis shit right chea. Sliding a box of Honeycombs to her. We don't eat dat, but you can.

Now in my opinion, that's a more accurate portrayal of Black life. Stay tuned for more Blackalized commercials. Until the next time...........

Another Day, More Bulls#$%!

Life has finally done it to me, I am bitter :( The sad part about all of this is that I'm only 25. I wake up now with the only joy of seeing my day come to an end and seeing my baby face. Not that that's a bad thing or anything, it's just depressing. When I hear about everybody's else's life, I just can't help but get depressed because my life is pretty much in disarray and even my toes don't want to cooperate. Stuff is just not going my way. I really could go for some alcohol, but I don't think the liquor would even stay in me once it found out that I was a loser :( WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Okay, I'm acting like a spoiled brat, but it's my life and I don't want to be a security officer. There, I said it. Damn, Bush and the freaked up economy......Until the next time........
P.S. sorry this entry was so damn depressing but it's my blog and I can write what I damn want to.........

The Young and the Assed Out.....

Today on The Young and the Assed Out......Reza finds man of her dreams, X walking with another broad. He waves to her, but the damage has been done. She's spent $35 on her hair for nothing......Reza has a sex dream about her sperm donor...The sex was good, but was ruined by him being in the dream.......Reza wakes up and realizes that maybe she doesn't want to be a doctor after all, well, yes she does. However, she'll have to open her oncology practice in California due to the low malpractice insurance rates. She will supplement her income by selling antioxidant smoothies to all of Hollywood's elite...........Stay tuned, the plot thins even more each day.....Until the next time

Why I Love Mouse

Well, it's definitely good to be back!!! A sista had been out of commission for awhile trying to troubleshoot my computer (which happens to be a Dell bought less than two years ago, just a little fyi) Anyway, I had to reboot the damn thing because my hard drive had crashed. Well, all of that went smoothly and then the unthinkable happened, my damn mouse wouldn't work anymore. Needless to say, it sucks not having a mouse. I had forgotten how to navigate the internet or my operating system without one. I mean the whole point of having a GUI interface is so you can use the damn mouse. Anyway, I'm glad that the issue has been resolved and now I can update you all on my life for the past week....

I started my security job last Monday. It's pretty boring and my boss is a sex fiend. All he does is talk about titties and thieves, not a good combination. Did I mention I was a supervisor? Well, if I didn't, I am now. While it's good and everything to have a little rank, it's not so good when you have no one to supervise....go figure. Well, the side I work on is teeming with young virile, stallion, buck negros...well, some of them aren't but they're still cute as hell. Anyway, there is one little dude that has had my eye and been the subject of many of my sex dreams, his name is well for privacy issues, XTC, and he is fine as a Seagrams with extra ice. I don't normally get excited about dudes (or women for that matter) but this brotha got a sista getting her hair did and picking out some nice lip gloss and not to mention, I'm even entertaining the idea of buying some thongs since my uniform pants are real tight and you can see my panty lines and everything and that's not sexy. Anyway, that boy makes my pubic hair stand on end. OOOOH WEEEEE! Okay, down girl, down girl!
Moving right along, my baby's birthday party sucked so bad that she kept trying to leave the damn thing. It was hot and the cake melted. We eventually moved it into my apartment to better results. The cake, however, was unsalvageable........
Well, that's it for now. Stay tuned as I make my move to get to my next baby daddy, husband, boy toy, cutty buddy, or whatever.......Until the next time......