Who Told....

Fantasia she could kiss my boyfriend?

I'm gone kill her dead if I ever see her in the streets.

Jamie, how could you do this to me?

After all we meant to each other.......

How Not To Get The Guy

I was watching "How to Get the Guy" last night and I must say, that's some straight bullshit. All that touching on the collar to signal a good night kiss, not for the kid. I'm not a big fan of subtlety. If you want a kiss nigga, lean over and give me one. Why should I have to touch your collar? Anyway, while watching that crap, I decided to come up with a list of things that will surely not get you the guy.

1. You have ugly feet- Ladies if people can't tell your feet from twigs in the yard, go get your shit tapered, okay?

2. Your bra doesn't fit right- All men love jumblies, but not if they look mumbly in your shirt. Order a Playtex 2 Hour bra if the 18 Hour one is too expensive for your taste.

3. You let him meet your play mama/play daddy/play uncle/play cousin: There's no such thing as "play" relatives. Your date will definitely think you are lacking social skills and will not give your ass some play.

4. Your lips are ashy: Vaseline jars runneth over, go get you some. Ain't nothing worse than having sandpaper lips.

5. Your breath stinks: This within itself is self-explanatory. I have one word: Altoids.

6. Your cookilatta (thanks Funkee for the new word) is less than fresh: Soap and water tries its best to eliminate unfreshness, but sometimes a little feminine powder will come to rescue as well.

6. Visible panty lines/thong straps: URRRGGGGHHHH, need I say more?

7. Calling him 24/7: This is definitely not a power move. If he's not calling you back or giving you excuses as to why he's not calling you, then he's not interested. Move on honey......

8. Giving him some on the first date: This is the worst mistake some ladies make. If you like him and he likes you, you will wait to consummate. Don't give it up like the Isley Brothers.....

9. You dress like grandma, mama, or a skank: Again, does this need any further elaboration?

10. You have nothing to offer, but yet you are wanting someone who has everything: This is a loaded statement. Let me clarify, say for instance, you don't have a car, a job, any goals, any dreams, or damn even a bus pass; don't expect to get a man that has all of that.

It's a Reunion Bitches Pt. II

Ah, there's nothing like seeing your old classmates from 1996 to reaffirm what you already knew....

I look better than them!!!!

No, really I do.

Well, needless to say the TCHS 1996 class reunion went down this past weekend. I have never had so much fun in two days people. TWO DAYS!

Where do I start...

We went to Dave and Buster's on Friday night and we got kicked out.

Went to a ghetto club afterwards and sat in the V.I.P section.

The banquet on Saturday night included a full view of my left areola, which hopped out of my dress for everyone to see.

The after party at Justin's included all you can eat and drink courtesy of my boy J.J. who plays for the San Francisco 49'ers.

Sunday, I slept and slept until I couldn't sleep anymore.

It was good to see my people's again. I really miss high school.

It was all so simple then..............

Nobody Likes To Admit Failure

I have failed yet again...

Last night Young Buck proceeds to tell me that he "doesn't feel right doing this."
Doing what? Please enlighten me because I'm confused. I'm thinking that maybe it's the Paul Masson talking, then again, maybe it isn't.

I'm tired of boys. Will God please send me a man? In about another five years when I'm mentally prepared to deal with the bullshit that comes with it and after I'm done with medical school I should be ready to deal again.

In any other news, is it me or is it just plain wrong to be jealous of all the people who are leaving the company? I mean everyday I get an email from somebody leaving. I'm like damn when is it going to be my turn to ride on the "Get Out of Dodge"? I must've been really, really mean to somebody a long time ago in order to be going through this dry spell of not being able to find another job.

All About Me

So, I'm sitting at my computer at work thinking to myself "what in the hell is keeping me here?"

I honestly don't know.

There have been times when I have literally wanted to do something that would get me dismissed or at least some vacation time. I unfortunately cannot take any vacation time until July....the end of July. Well, I could've taken time beforehand, but I wanted to take a week off and spend it with my little Peanut, being that this is the last summer she'll have before she goes to "big girl" school in the fall. Okay, it's not really "big girl" but rather pre-K, it's the same difference though. I'm taking her to Savannah so that she can enjoy the beach. I would've loved to take her to Disney World where she really wants to go, but let's face it, mommy's broke. So she'll be visiting Paul Deen's restaurant and walking on hot ass River Street with mommy, and of course going to Tybee Island to swim in the ocean.

She'll be cool with that, don't you think?

Well, I'll be starting school again in the fall also. I hope this time, I'll be able to complete all of my classes and get one step closer to becoming somebody's gynecologist. Well, there's still that little pesky thing called medical school, but Lord willing, it'll be a minor stepping stone. Actually, the MCAT is a major stepping stone and I'm just hoping to score at least a 25 on it.

Somebody will accept a 30 year old first year medical school applicant with a 25 MCAT score right?